Takanashi Sato : The Goblin Shark

Kon'nichiwa. (That is the extent of my Japanese, but I thought I would try here. Please don't judge me, I'm not good in social settings. A bit of a loner.) I am Takanashi Sato and I live mostly off the coast of Japan, though some of my brethern can be spotted in Tasmania, North Wales, Australia and through the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian Oceans. I am very shy and try to keep to myself for the most part. My flabby body, which is pink or grey white for the most part, long nose and short fins make me seem sluggish in movement to others, but I've never noticed.
That snout I mentioned is abnormally long, shaped like a blade and heavily pored. Those pores can help me detect when a creature is near my mouth so that I don't have to use my, very week eyes. I simply drift, which I am very good at doing, toward my prey and act more like a log simply floating through the water until I get up to my prey. When the prey gets into position, I snap my jaws around it, at the greatest speed of any fish on the planet, and I can extend my bite to nearly the end of my snout so nothing gets away, thus a perfect meal.

Don't worry, though, I am not a danger to humans, unless you are very deep in the water and dumb enough to put your hand near my face. (I've seen YouTube, I know there are those of you out there dumb enough to do it.) I have been known to go to depths of 890 to 3,150 feet below the surface, but I can go as deep as 4,300 feet as well. (Shhh, I can actually go even deeper, but I don't want anyone to know.) My food, however, is within the 890 to 3,000 feet mark, so I try to stay within that if possible. Oh, and my diet consists of squid, fish and crustaceans, though the occasional garbage dash has happened as well due to the dumping of mass amounts of it in my ocean. For the most part, though, human is not on my menu. (You all taste like chicken anyway, and I'm not much for chicken.)

As I said before, I am very shy. Due to this, you humans don't know that much about me, but the fact that you are filling my oceans with more and more garbage may mean that we one day get to know each other very well. Keep polluting my oceans and I will have to start fishing closer to the banks.

All that said, I am a fairly carefree individual that will keep to myself as long as you do. Just don't anger me by using that "other" nickname that they gave me. I don't much like being called the , as it makes me feel old. How you you like it if I simply referred to you as that . I am not that old. At least, I don't feel like I am.

Oh, if you want to know more about me, try looking up my cousins, the sand shark. We are very similar in many ways. When you read about them, it might Illuminate you on the habits that I have. (See what I did there, I used a big word to sound smarter. I "illuminated" the conversation. Because it needed "illumination". Alright, fine, I'm not that smart, but that's probably because I'm a fish.)